Really, really scared.
I’m human.
I’m not perfect.
I haven’t arrived.
I’m a mother, who, in the weakness and frailty of her humanity, worries about her children.
And I was scared.
My son, my oldest son, the one who was rarely sick, the one who hardly ever caught so much as a cold, HAD A BRAIN TUMOR. A very scary, very cancerous, brain tumor.
And it was time for follow-up scans.
Time to take another look. Time to see if the “area of concern” found in September was stable, or if it wasn’t…
How could I not worry?
But what about faith?
That’s part of the beauty of trusting Him, part of the beauty of that peace that passes understanding.
I don’t understand it, but I’ve experienced it.
Fear, but not fear without hope.
Worry, but not worry without hope.
Peace, while life’s tempests swirled about, when it felt like my world was falling apart all around me.
So when it came time for Ian to have another set of follow-up scans, I didn’t have a sure & unshakable faith that Ian would remain cancer-free, but I did have a sure & unshakable faith in Him. I knew that “everything would be OK”, no matter what that series of MRI scans showed. Our eternity was secure, even if our present tense was scary and filled with trials and tribulations.
That’s how I got through that day.
And that’s how you can get through it, too.
Look to Him. Lean on Him. Trust in Him.
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 KJV
This journey has been long, tiring and so hard. I am thrilled to see how your faith in God has grown and deepened. None of us have any guarantees of good health here in life but we do have the guarantee in a Father that will help us to get through whatever is placed on our shoulders.
Praying for you Ian and for you and your family Ali.
Blessings,
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II I assume that there was no new growth? Or must you wait for the results still? It is easy for us as humans to doubt, to lose faith, to lose hope. But God only asks of us to have faith the size of a mustard seed. The Mustard Seed is so tiny & it has baffled scientist for years because they can not clone it, cross breed it, splice it, grow it with another plant, they can not destory it or eradicate it! Pretty amazing thing, the mustard seed. I had surgery Jan 23, gastric bypass and I too was scared. Scared because 2 years ago just before Thanksgiving my dad fell & broke his ankle, he need surgery to put 2 screws in. He had a massive heart attack & died on Thanksgiving day. I was afraid the same fate would happen to me. I am here, no complications & very little pain. I truly believe that God is completly healing Ian’s body. It takes time, hope, & faith not only your’s but also Ian’s and your whole familys. I also have faith that God will heal the 3 bulging discs in my back without surgery & that I can walk again without a walker. I saved one of your pics of Ian, I think its a beautiful pic,a black jacket, his eye patch & smile on his face. When I’m having a bad day I look at Ian’s beautiful smile & I realize how blessed I am. I pray for Ian & I pray for myself and ask God to make me more humble. God Bless!
I am right there with my sister now as she battles with Multiple Myeloma – a devastating cancer. I have faith in my God that no matter, He is faithful and He is good.
Praying that Ian is right where God wants Him. Healthy and Healed and ready to be a mighty man of God!
One parent called it ‘Scanxiety’. It is a term that i have adopted. My son has been cancer free for 5 years this spring and off treatment for 4 years. We just had his scans in January which were clean and we still get scanxiety.
We will keep everyone in our prayers.