Surreal, really.
Yesterday, I did lots of laundry. We’re a family of ten, lots of laundry is pretty normal, especially on a Monday.
I also made a big Target run. We’re a family of ten, all my Target runs are big, so are my Walmart runs, so that was pretty normal too.
I got the phone call we’d been waiting for, from the surgeon’s scheduler, finalizing the times of Ian’s special MRI today and surgery (brain surgery!?!!) tomorrow.
That wasn’t so normal.
What a fellowship, what a joy divine,
Leaning on the everlasting arms;
What a blessedness, what a peace is mine,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms;
Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms.
It doesn’t seem real, to be dealing with this, the fact that last Friday we learned that our oldest son has a brain tumor. It doesn’t seem real, because for the last couple days we’ve been living pretty normal lives. Laundry, dishes, Target runs, a chiropractor visit, all normal. Reading books, riding bikes (in between all the rains and storms, seriously, what is it with these storms lately? More forecasted for today…) playing the wii, watching movies, running around too loud for inside play, all normal.
It’s surreal, to be dealing with this while normal life rolls on.
It’s about to change, I know. We go down to Minneapolis this afternoon for the special MRI where they map out precisely the tumor’s location. He’ll have some special stickers on his head that the surgeon described as like the satellites for a GPS system. There is an MRI in the surgery suite (which is absolutely AMAZING, I had no idea that was even possible!) and we were told they’ll do an MRI about every 30 minutes and then again when he’s done, before closing him up.
Surgery is tomorrow morning.
O how sweet to walk in this pilgrim way,
Leaning on the everlasting arms;
O how bright the path grows from day to day,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms;
Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms.
We have to be down at Minneapolis Children’s by 7am, which means leaving home at about o’dark-thirty, as IT Guy would say. We’ll get all checked-in and Ian will get prepped and then transferred over to Abbott Northwestern (pretty much across the street) for the actual surgery. We were told it should be about a 4 hr surgery, and that this doctor is really good about getting word out to waiting family every 30 minutes.
It’s also surreal to be dealing with such heavy stuff, and to be so calm at the same time, to have so much peace.
He really does give peace that passes understanding.
The Lord has been so good to us in this, in so many ways already. It’s amazing. It’s humbling.
My husband lost his job in June. He’s now self-employed. We just got this new insurance policy, as of July 1st. Ian’s symptoms have been fairly mild (of course, now they seem blatantly obvious) and if it weren’t for needing that sports physical, we wouldn’t have caught this yet. My husband has had major head surgery, from traumatic injury inchildhood, so he understands a lot and can talk to Ian about what’s it going to be like recuperating from something like this. My husband was needed extra last week at his contract job, and worked a long night on an extra side-job, making 2 week’s worth of money last week, making this week much less stressful as far as money goes, you know, for things like paying the mortgage and electric bills, oh, and food. Self-employed people don’t get sick pay or vacation pay…
The Lord’s fingerprints are all over this.
What have I to dread, what have I to fear,
Leaning on the everlasting arms;
I have blessed peace with my Lord so near,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms;
Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms.
I could write so much more, but there are 101 things to do today, all before noon. I have the WordPress app installed on my phone, and I’m hoping to post a couple updates tomorrow, but even if I can’t figure it out, I know that the Twitter app works. 🙂
Thank you all, so much for your prayers. God is good, only good, all the time!
Still continuing to pray.
I remember feeling strange in my normal when Samuel was in and out of Childrens this winter. I’d still have to run to Target and then I’d be prepping for biopsies. Strange. But, just like you are doing now, I’d rest in the Lord. Keep doing that, my friend.
Praying that the mapping session and surgery goes perfectly.
Praying in Ohio – my oldest is Ian’s age and I can’t imagine. I pray for His peace to reign and for you to find comfort in His word and the prayers of His people.
I understand that surreal feeling as I have been waiting for a few weeks to find out if I have breast cancer.
I am continuing to pray that all goes well for your family!
I saw your comment on McMama’s blog and wanted to stop by yours. Praying for your sweet son Ian as he undergoes surgery tomorrow! How very scary for all of you, but you have the absolute right outlook, HE is in charge or it all. All you can do is hand the situation over to Him.
My 3yr old was in PICU for a month last fall and had to undergo 6 seperate surgeries to relieve pressure on her brain (totally different than your scenario, I know). The feeling of such helplessness was almost more than I could bare, but just made me all the more aware that I am not in charge of this, all I could do (and all I needed to do) was trust in the Lord. She is now fully recovered and an active, happy tot.
Many, many, many prayers for all of you! ((hugs))
I’ve been so out of the loop, Ali… I just found out about your son’s diagnosis. I’m praying for you, your son, your family , and the doctors! Love you!! – Michelle
Btw, I use the Blogpress app to write posts when I’m out… I like it better than the WordPress app.
Praying!!!
My husband had a brain aneurysm almost 3 years ago. Over 2 weeks in the hospital. (he is fine btw) I remember an overwhelming sense of peace, most of the time. I also remember praying and bawling my eyes out in the shower. It is okay to do that too.
Praying.
Bernice
Hi. I got here because of a tweet from Cheryl on Twitter. I just wanted you to know that I’m praying here in New York, and I’m going to re-tweet her so that this can reach more people. And you are right…God is always good.
Lifting prayers for your son, your family, and the doctors. May God’s peace and strength surround you.
Michelle
praying for you Ali and Ian Added you to HSV fb page to gather our homeschoolers together to pray with you ! (hope you do not mind)
Praying. It is always amazing how God brings peace beyond understanding. May He wrap you in His everlasting arms and keep a song in your heart.
Praying for Ian, the family, and the doctors.
Praying in Apple Valley
Phil 4:6-7
Oh my sweet friend…I can’t believe this. My heart is heavy for you. I can’t even begin to imagine. May God’s grace be with you. May His strength sustain you. And may you continue to feel His unexplainable peace. Sending big (((hugs))) and prayers to you!
I don’t know you or your family, but I just happened across this blog. As a Christian, I am lifting you, your precious son and your family up in prayer. Only good reports are what I’m praying for, and that the peace that passes all understanding keep you lifted up.
THAT peace, yes that peace is what He was talking about. Praying for you and your family this week!
I am praying.
I understand the peace and normal and surreal feelings as well. My daughter had open heart surgery at 16 months.
I will be praying for you – I have a 17 year old son, and can’t begin to imagine what you are going through. I am glad that fellow bloggers asked us to pray so I could find you and we could ban together as believers and lift up Ian to the Father. Keep leaning on the everlasting arms!
praying for your family. I can’t imagine walking through this, and yet, I can kind of imagine the surreal-ness and normalcy side by side with the unknown.
God bless you.
Ali,
I’ve known about your blog from the Woodshed. 🙂 I just wanted you to know that I’m praying for you. I buried my 16yo. son today, (he died in a head-on collision on Friday) and if the LORD can get me through this, then know that He can get you through the road ahead. He has all the details…trust in Him. I’m so sorry you have to face this road, but know that you won’t walk it alone and God’s grace is truly sufficient. Blessings, Angie
Praying, praying, praying. I am inspired by your spirit of praise in the midst of this storm. Your testimony is always a blessing – a double portion now.
Praying for you and your dear son. So much for him to endure. I can so relate to the feeling of this can not be real. Life goes on doing your normal things, yet you are dealing with brain surgery! Yes it is all so weird and surreal!!! My husband has alzheimer’s at age 47, trust me this doesn’t seem real at times. But God has his hand in it all, and continues to carry us through the tough times. May God carry you today. Praying!!!!!!
I was deeply touched by this post. Thank you for sharing, for your transparency on this journey. BLessings, Christa
Thank you for having a wonderful spirit. I am facing back surgery. To be honest, I am terrified. I am so scared about being cut open. I tend to get overwhelmed and frustrated but, I need to remind myself to lean on God. He knows. I need to trust. I cried when I read your post. Thank you for encouraging me. Best of luck with your upcoming events!