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an ordinary mom

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It’s My Due Date and I’ll Cry If I Want To

Sigh.

I was hoping, really hoping, not to have to see another due date come and go.

Waiting is so hard, harder still when you’re as large as you’ve ever been, achy, and tired from not sleeping well at all. 

I’m trying to keep busy, trying to just enjoy these last days of pregnancy, and for the most part I am, I truly am.  I love being pregnant, I really do.  I love feeling the rolly-polly little life inside.  I enjoy the anticipation of welcoming another child into our hearts, our lives, our home.

They that wait upon the Lord
Shall renew their strength
They shall mount up with wings as eagles
They shall run and not be weary
They shall walk and not faint
Teach me Lord, teach me Lord
To wait

words and music by Stuart Hamblen

I know the Lord’s timing is perfect.  I know He is in control, that everything is in His hands, His ever more than capable hands.

I trust Him, I do, but my flesh is weary and weak, and I just may end up discussing inducing yet again at this afternoon’s midwife appointment.  I’ve been induced with 4 of my 7 births.  I’ve waited as long as 12 days past my due date, with no signs of any actual labor.  Craziness.  I really don’t want to wait 12 days longer this time around.

But I’m so indecisive, I just don’t know.  I remember going through this with my last pregnancy/birth/delivery… Despite being frustrated, and admittedly disappointed, with being pregnant past my “due date” again, I really didn’t want to have to be induced again, and so I waited, and waited, and ended up being induced 11 days later.  So, now I’m again thinking that although I don’t enjoy needing to be induced, if I’m going to end up inducing anyway, why not save myself the pain and agony (dramatic much? yes, guilty as charged) of an extra week or 10 days? 

I dunno.

We’ll see how today’s non-stress testing goes andwhat  the state of my cervix is, and then think and pray about it all some more, and… we’ll just see.

In the meantime, I’ve got a pack n play to set up at my bedside (I really, really, really wanted an Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper Mini Bassinet Convertible, Coco Natural this time, but the Co-Sleeper fairy seems to have misplaced my adress, might have to beg sweetly petition Mr. Extraordinary again about this one), some pieces of flannel to hem for custom blankies, and a tiny sweater or two to knit.  Oh, and I discovered that there are several seasons of The Cosby Show on Netflix instant watch, so it’s not like I don’t have anything to do to pass the time while I wait, and think, and pray- wrong order, I know, but I have to be honest… I always seem to think and think and think some more before I think to bring it to the Lord in prayer, silly human.  I need to work on that, like today, like right now.

Baby news soon*!

*Keeping in mind that soon is a relative term… 😀

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10 Comments

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Comments

  1. Meg Logan says

    March 25, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    Hi! I follow your blog on Facebook and noticed this post especially, since I just had my fifth, late, again….
    I can totally understand your feelings! We were all talking inducing too… thankfully the Lord delivered me “early” (for me) this time. Only 5 days late, usually I am 7-10 days late.
    Anyway, I wanted to mention a couple things that have helped my body be ready earlier, Evening Primrose Oil applied to the cervix for several weeks prior to delivery (not a lot of help now, but taking enough at one time could still help, it is full of prostaglandins which ripen the cervix), and there are many natural herbs which can give you a more spontaneous “induction” from home. I would recommend you look into them and not just take my word for their safety given that I am not a doctor, or herbalist, just another mom who found something that helped avoid the pitocin drip and the long stressful wait at the hospital. Some herbs to look into are Blue and Black Cohosh, and Goldenseal root tincture. Definately look into them for yourself before you go experimenting, I am not sure how potent they can be. Just a tiny dose of goldenseal sent me into labor this time, and I delivered within 5-6 hours after taking it. I took it after weeks on EPO and having a semi effaced cervix and 1-2 dilation.

    Hope you get some relief! Soon you’ll be holding a wee bitty baby!

    Meg

    Reply
    • an ordinary mom says

      March 25, 2011 at 2:02 pm

      Meg, 1st of all CONGRATS on your 5th bundle of blessing!!

      2nd of all, I’ve tried just about everything over the years, and have been taking/using Evening Primrose Oil for a couple weeks now… I’ve tried black and blue cohoshes in past overdue pregnancies, with no effect, other than whatever it may or may not have done to my blood pressure, which is chronically quite low, so I try not to do too much with herbs known to lower blood pressure…

      I’ve drank many a cup of herbal tea, including the less-often mentioned ones like cumin seed tea, which is actually quite tasty, but did nothing to start labor. I’ve even consumed a few doses of castor oil, which I don’t think I could ever do again, gagoriffic, blech, nasty stuff, and didn’t do anything but clean out my bowels 🙂 which, is great and all, but no labor.

      I’ve read a TON, and tried just about everything 🙂

      And yet, the Lord keeps working on my patience and endurance… sometimes I do better than other times, kwim? 🙂

      I really haven’t decided yet, how long I will wait… but I’m sure I will at least give if a few more days… we’ll see, pray for me! 🙂

      And enjoy this time with that precious new blessing!

      Reply
  2. Trooppetrie says

    March 25, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    I love the cosby show, I can not wait to see pictures of this new baby.

    Reply
    • an ordinary mom says

      March 25, 2011 at 2:23 pm

      Oh, Pam, I can’t wait to start taking pictures of a new baby!! 😀

      Reply
  3. Jessica says

    March 25, 2011 at 1:58 pm

    We were able to get some of our bigger baby items on craigslist. There were a lot of cosleepers on there then, so perhaps you might be able to find one now. If I remember right they were usually around $50 used.
    I hope baby comes soon!

    Reply
    • an ordinary mom says

      March 25, 2011 at 2:22 pm

      Thanks for the craigslist reminder! A few weeks back there was one in good shape for a decent price, but it was over an hour drive away and just didn’t work out… I’ll have to check again!

      Reply
  4. Jamie @ See Jamie blog says

    March 25, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    Hang in there! 🙂

    Reply
  5. lora says

    March 25, 2011 at 5:45 pm

    praying for you! i can totally relate. 🙂

    Reply
  6. Traci says

    March 25, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    Praying for you dear friend and sending ((((BIG HUGS)))) your way!! Hang in there, the Lord is your strength!
    Love you! 😀
    ~traci
    xoxo

    Reply
  7. Sarah Parra says

    March 26, 2011 at 7:37 am

    You already know what to do – bring it to God and wait for him to tell you. 🙂 I hope everything goes amazingly. Hugs and Labor Dust. 🙂

    Reply

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