I was hoping, really hoping, not to have to see another due date come and go.
Waiting is so hard, harder still when you’re as large as you’ve ever been, achy, and tired from not sleeping well at all.
I’m trying to keep busy, trying to just enjoy these last days of pregnancy, and for the most part I am, I truly am. I love being pregnant, I really do. I love feeling the rolly-polly little life inside. I enjoy the anticipation of welcoming another child into our hearts, our lives, our home.
They that wait upon the Lord
Shall renew their strength
They shall mount up with wings as eagles
They shall run and not be weary
They shall walk and not faint
Teach me Lord, teach me Lord
words and music by Stuart Hamblen
I know the Lord’s timing is perfect. I know He is in control, that everything is in His hands, His ever more than capable hands.
I trust Him, I do, but my flesh is weary and weak, and I just may end up discussing inducing yet again at this afternoon’s midwife appointment. I’ve been induced with 4 of my 7 births. I’ve waited as long as 12 days past my due date, with no signs of any actual labor. Craziness. I really don’t want to wait 12 days longer this time around.
But I’m so indecisive, I just don’t know. I remember going through this with my last pregnancy/birth/delivery… Despite being frustrated, and admittedly disappointed, with being pregnant past my “due date” again, I really didn’t want to have to be induced again, and so I waited, and waited, and ended up being induced 11 days later. So, now I’m again thinking that although I don’t enjoy needing to be induced, if I’m going to end up inducing anyway, why not save myself the pain and agony (dramatic much? yes, guilty as charged) of an extra week or 10 days?
We’ll see how today’s non-stress testing goes andwhat the state of my cervix is, and then think and pray about it all some more, and… we’ll just see.
In the meantime, I’ve got a pack n play to set up at my bedside (I really, really, really wanted an Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper Mini Bassinet Convertible, Coco Natural this time, but the Co-Sleeper fairy seems to have misplaced my adress, might have to beg sweetly petition Mr. Extraordinary again about this one), some pieces of flannel to hem for custom blankies, and a tiny sweater or two to knit. Oh, and I discovered that there are several seasons of The Cosby Show on Netflix instant watch, so it’s not like I don’t have anything to do to pass the time while I wait, and think, and pray- wrong order, I know, but I have to be honest… I always seem to think and think and think some more before I think to bring it to the Lord in prayer, silly human. I need to work on that, like today, like right now.
Baby news soon*!
*Keeping in mind that soon is a relative term… 😀