Earlier this summer, I wrote about my efforts to change from a dyed-in-the-wool night-owl to a morning person. I’ve been doing ok, so-so, not perfect, but not that bad.
I’m falling asleep today, and I’m pretty sure it’s due to the fact that last night I did not even make an effort to get to bed earlier.
I was completely aware of the minutes ticking away and the night getting blacker and blacker, and yet I stayed up, and I don’t regret it. I mean, I’m yawning, and may get a little crabby as the day and evening wears on, but no, I don’t regret staying up last night.
It was for a good reason.
Time spent in honest and raw communication with my husband is worth it.
We talked, and talked, and talked some more. There were moments of awkward silence as one or the other of us contemplated what to say next, how to answer. There were things that needed to be discussed, and they were, and it was so good, so needed.
I came across this quote recently-
It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.
We don’t have what I would call a bad marriage, not at all, but it sure isn’t all I thought it would be before I said “I do”.
Can anyone relate?
Marriage is hard, it just is. And those in love feelings tend to wax and wane, though not nearly as predictably as the moon. I don’t know how it’s been for you, but a few years into this thing called married life,
love became a choice.
A decision. An intentional act of the will.
Things that shouldn’t have, happened. Things that should have happened, were left undone. Things that should never have been, were spoken. Things that should have been said, were left unspoken.
One sinner married another sinner. Our marriage began with, and still consists of, two sinners. Twice the sin.
Grace, grace, God’s grace, grace that has pardoned and cleansed my sin,
Grace, grace, God’s grace, grace that is greater than all our sin…
If it were just us, well, us and our sin, ugh, we’ve had glimpses of what that would be like through the years, times where grace has been lacking, and I’m so thankful that’s not the end of the story, at least, it doesn’t have to be.
You see, we’ve made a commitment, an intentional decision, a promise. And it’s not really just about us, is it? For us, for me, it’s about Him, and it’s about them.
I think marraige has taught me more about grace than parenting has, than anything has.
We’ve witnessed a few families fall apart over the last couple of years. Christian families. Conservative. Moral. Homeschooling. Nice. Families.
We’ve grieved for them. We’ve wondered aloud “Why?”, “How?”, and “What if?”
And we’ve strengthened our resolve. I’ve strengthened my resolve.
And long, late-night talks really, really help.